It's another quiet day here in the office. The boss is gone, along with at least half the office on meetings and whatnot, and I am sitting here at my desk quietly biding my time until some work comes along. It is during times like this I tend to spend a lot of time in reflection, thinking about various aspects of life, particularly my own.
Today, I happened down the scary path of wondering what my future looks like. I can say I have a general idea of where I think I will end up, and I definitely know what I would like to be doing, but I have no clue as to how I am going to get there. And that is where my flesh starts to kick in. That part of me that goes, "But I want to be there now!" I think we all have experienced that at some point or another, and I don't know about you, but I find mine to be quite annoying. I find myself constantly fighting it, telling it to be patient, and to shut-up. I look forward to the day when my flesh will actually listen to me, but until then, I am stuck.
It's not an easy walk we have, even when we are using God's Word as a lamp. The funny thing is, lamps give off pretty crappy light. We like to think of our halogen bulbs, and Mag-lites, but a lamp only gives enough light to see the next step, as Pastor Chris puts it. I would love to just skip so much of the process, and get right to the end result of being where I want to be, but I often find myself needing to be right where I am currently. I don't know why it is so hard to trust God with my future, because it really shouldn't be. I certainly don't have any reason not to trust Him, He has more than got me this far, but it always comes down to the same thing. I need to be satisfied with where God has me, and I need to be diligent to grow where God wants me to grow.
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