Depression.

Why do I see it so awful
That I’m inherently myself?
There are so many others, who are not
Me, and are so different, I envy
For not being me, much they do not share.
I want to be like them, I do not like my
Self. I wish I were someone else on this
Earth; someone who loved better, who didn’t
Think too grand of himself, who made fewer
Mistakes, and who always did things perfect.
I have been deceived, by my lack of sight.
My eyes see one side of the true picture,
My mind makes up the other side, and invents
Things that are not true, but they are desired.
This way, I can justify my sorrow,
And my mind can make worse my depression.
Why, oh mind, do you seek to make me hurt?
You’re there to help me survive this life, not
To end it, have you failed evolution?
This was no selective trait! Depression,
Or, at least, my own self-made depression,
Does not help me to live! Am I human?
Or am I something else, a departure from
The normal defense mechanisms of
Man, how they’ve adapted to survive living?
I believe I stumbled onto this thing,
It’s called sin. It pervades my whole body,
My mind yearns to do it, desiring those bad things
Which people hate; those qualities which are
Superficial, and do not make a man.
No, though they may be beautiful, they are
Not part of any man’s being, or soul.
But, why do I desire beauty outward,
And only forget my beauty inwards,
Which is most important, not just to me,
But to everyone?

Good Sacrifice

One of my favorite books in the Bible is Leviticus.  While most people find it to be a dry and boring read, and I can understand why, I think it is full of amazing parallels to the life of Christ, and the Gospel.  So this morning as I was brushing my teeth, I was again thinking about the mentality of those who decide to wait until the last moments of their life to give their lives to God, and I believe I have found another parallel between the law of Leviticus, and the Gospel, and it has to do with sacrifice.   

If you do ever read any of the Old Testament, especially in the books of the law, one of the the recurring themes is that God wants an acceptable sacrifice brought to Him.  Any sacrifice that was brought before God had to be without blemish, and it had to be the best.   Most of us are probably aware of the connection between that an sin, but I think it goes much further than that.  Even before we are saved, God is calling us to a life of sacrifice.  If that is true, and if we are supposed to be living sacrifices, do we want to present ourselves as healthy and without blemish, or as old and in our last stages of life? 

Now there are a few implications within this argument, some valid ones, and others that need a bit clearing up.  I will start with the positive ones. 

As most of the people who read this are young Christians, I think that there is a great deal of significance here.  I think that being young enables us to fall into the trap of the oh-I-can-do-that-later attitude it is a fine line that we must balance between preparing for the rest of our lives, and seizing the day for the Gospel.  Yes, we do have our whole lives ahead of us, but our whole lives may not be as long as we think they are.  We must be diligent in doing all that God tells us to do.

Now, there are a few things that I don't want people to misunderstand.  I am not saying that God cannot use us when we are sick or old, or that if you are about to die, you shouldn't bother committing your life to God.  Any of those ideologies are bad, and I do not recommend them for your personal well-being.  God is gracious, and uses us no matter what condition we are in.  It is always better to be in the smoking section of heaven than the burning section in hell, where we all deserve to be any way. 

So please, if you read this and you haven't given your life to God, don't wait to act if you have even the slightest bit of conviction to do so.  Time is always shorter than we think it is.  If you are a Christian, then don't wait to do what God is calling you to do!

Stress-Caused Blindness

As many of you know, I am leaving this weekend to study abroad in Barcelona, Spain. So for the past few weeks, I have been hurrying around, shopping, fixing, gathering items, planning, and, of course, stressing. Now this trip has not been the only cause of my stress; I have also been moving and assisting with some family-related needs. But I was really feeling overwhelmed by the whole situation and I was starting to doubt my decision to go abroad in the first place. Why did I think this was a good idea? What is the point of all this?

I was at services and explaining all of this to my friend and she said something profound. I am sure she did not think it was profound, but it really changed my outlook in an instant. She just looked at me and said, "Well don't get too stressed out, you're going to Spain!"

And it made me realize. Sometimes, I spend so much time absorbed in my own worry that I don't see the blessing that is right in front of me. My friend was simply pointing this out. The Lord has given me enough resources at this time to be able to live in a beautiful country for 4 months, full of vibrant people and exquisite scenery! Have I even stopped to thank the Lord for this trip?

Here is my opinion: Stress and anxiety blinds us to the blessings that we have already received. We get so busy running in circles, with our heads in the sand, that we forget to look at what is right in front of us. We go knocking on God's door when he is already in the room with us.

So here's my challenge to you: How have you been blind? What blessing has the Lord already given you to enjoy?

Justification and Judgment

Yesterday, I had something of an "Ah-ha" moment.  For those of you who don't know what those are, they are moments when you have an instance of revelation, which often results in one saying, "Ah-ha!", and some problem or mystery of the universe becomes clear. 

I am a big fan of these moments, and although I can't really say that this moment will be terribly groundbreaking, or revolutionary for everyone, I thought it was pretty fascinating, so I figured I would share it. 

It all began as I was walking home from work.  I came up to the intersection at Race St. and 33rd, and I was about to cross when I heard a car come up behind me, so I paused to let them go. That was then followed by that awkward, "You go" "No you go!" kind of situation, because every time I took a step, this person revved their engine a little bit (albeit, it was most likely unknowingly), and I would stop.  I would rather not be on the receiving end of vehicular homicide.  When I finally crossed, I looked back at the person who was driving behind me, and they naturally had that pissed-off look on their face, and probably cursing me under their breath. I thought to myself, "Dang, that guy totally judged me without knowing any of the facts of why I behaved the way I did.  And that's when it hit me.  He judged me, without first trying to justify me.

There are two things that I gleaned from this "Ah-ha" moment, the first relating to the obvious way in which we should judge.  More often then not, I find myself casting judgment on others without knowing any of the facts.  I think it is safe to assume that I would have behaved similarly to the man driving that SUV, and assumed that the person crossing the street was just jerking me around out of spite.  I will admit, my disposition changes drastically when I am behind the wheel of a car.  It's quite awful, and I am trying to correct it, but this still presents an interesting take on how to judge righteously.  We all know that we cannot read people's hearts, or what they are thinking, so how then can we judge? 

It occurred to me that if we first try to justify (and I don't mean that in a spiritual sense, FYI) those around us, we will more often than not, judge rightly.  For instance, if that guy driving took the time to look at things from my point of view, he would hopefully have realized that I just didn't want to get hit by his large car, and that would have prevented him from getting angry.  Hopefully.  Likewise, if we take the time to first justify the actions of those around us, then I think we will find that a lot of times people will have decent reasons for doing some of the things we might think are strange. 

The second thing I gleaned from this, which I found to be the more profound thing, was the way in which God has justified us, before committing us to judgment.  What is even more amazing, is that God didn't have to.  While we don't know everything, God does.  He could easily judge us at any time, and have the right to do so, but he doesn't.  He patiently justifies us, and gives us the ability to avoid judgment.  God's justification also surpasses our own.  Where we have to seek out the means of declaring someone to be "right", God provides us with righteousness when we had none.  We can only follow what the facts show us, but God can supersede the fact of our sinfulness, and declare us good in his sight. 

It is often these small parallels between things in daily life, and God's character that really blow my mind because they just go to show much God has authored Himself into all of His creation.

Looking Back

Lately I have been trying to spend time looking back over my life and seeing how God has influenced and worked in it to bring me to where I am now.  It has been a pretty interesting introspection, and as I look, I see God's hand moving in many different areas of my life.

I think the thing that struck me the most was the churches that I have ended up at and that being at Calvary Chapel Chester Springs was one of the best things that ever could have happened to me.  I say this not only because of the great teaching I received from my pastor, and the friends that I will have most likely until I die, but because of some of the more subtle ways that God has used that church in my life. 

I began this whole thought process when I was thinking about some of the different times I have shared with people that I have crossed paths with, whether it was roommates, Jehovah's Witnesses, or just people I have talked to on the street.  I thought about all of the times that I would talk to people and be able to reference verses in scripture that I hadn't heard in ages, or stuff that just seemed far beyond what I can normally comprehend.  I can definitely attribute all that to God, and the moving of His Spirit, especially if you know how terrible my memory is.  So I began to wonder where exactly did that knowledge come from?  The engineer in me didn't want to just assign the label of "divine intervention" to it without first giving it due thought, as doing so can rob God of more glory than we think.

Eventually, I realized that much of the knowledge I have of scripture, I can attribute to the teaching I received at Calvary Chapel, and that all of those sermons were prepared by God so that I might use them at a later point.  And how incredible is that!  As I have been understanding this point more and more over the years, I have been able to recognize the effect of a godly sermon more readily in my life.  Even now as I attend Calvary Chapel Antioch, I can see the different topics lining up in my life to cater to different events that have been happening, and relating to the people I meet.  I am also realizing the importance of being at a church where the pastors are truly seeking to reflect what God desires for the people to hear, and they are grounded in God's Word.  I say this, because what we hear and learn has a far more reaching impact on what we believe than we might first imagine.  It also means that we need to make sure that we ourselves are grounded in what the scriptures teach, and that we are students of the Lord first, and students of our churches and pastors second.  I have found that I have taken many teachings for granted in my life, and I can't explain some of the basic doctrines of what we believe. 

This is all just one way in which I have seen God at work in my life, and I can't even begin to describe some of the other ways, as each time I reflect on it, I discover even more ways.  I encourage all of you to try and do a similar thing, because I can guarantee that you will be just as blown away as I am.

Passing on the Faith

Yesterday I finished reading the Book of Judges. It had been a long while since I read through it so there was quite a bit that struck me. If you've never had the opportunity to go through it, here's the main gist: After Joshua, there was no appointed leader of Israel so the people started to fall away from the Lord. They would end up in idolatry and captivity and then cry out to God so then God would raise up a leader, or judge, for the people that would help turn their hearts back to God and also bring them out of bondage. After the appointed judge died, the people of Israel would go through the whole song and dance again.

What struck me most about the book was the many times it said that the people had no king and so they did what was right in their own eyes and that the new generation did not know the God of their fathers. For me that did not make any sense. Weren't the people of Israel teaching their kids about their God? How do you go through a generation and then suddenly God dies off with the last family member of that generation?

All this to say that it made me really value the importance of having a household of faith and making that the legacy that I want to pass on to my children. Granted, kids are a bit of a ways off in my future but nonetheless it is something to ponder and give priority to. My family has been saved for the past 5 generations. God has been so gracious and faithful to us that we can even be able to say that but He's also put it in the hearts of my great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents to raise their children with the knowledge and understanding of God. It is my prayer that none of us would let our faith in the Lord die with our mortal bodies but that our children and children's children would continue to hold fast to the Lord.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. ~ Proverbs 22:6

Sanctification takes too long

It's another quiet day here in the office.  The boss is gone, along with at least half the office on meetings and whatnot, and I am sitting here at my desk quietly biding my time until some work comes along.  It is during times like this I tend to spend a lot of time in reflection, thinking about various aspects of life, particularly my own.

Today, I happened down the scary path of wondering what my future looks like.  I can say I have a general idea of where I think I will end up, and I definitely know what I would like to be doing, but I have no clue as to how I am going to get there.  And that is where my flesh starts to kick in.  That part of me that goes, "But I want to be there now!"  I think we all have experienced that at some point or another, and I don't know about you, but I find mine to be quite annoying.  I find myself constantly fighting it, telling it to be patient, and to shut-up.  I look forward to the day when my flesh will actually listen to me, but until then, I am stuck. 

It's not an easy walk we have, even when we are using God's Word as a lamp.  The funny thing is, lamps give off pretty crappy light.  We like to think of our halogen bulbs, and Mag-lites, but a lamp only gives enough light to see the next step, as Pastor Chris puts it.  I would love to just skip so much of the process, and get right to the end result of being where I want to be, but I often find myself needing to be right where I am currently.  I don't know why it is so hard to trust God with my future, because it really shouldn't be.  I certainly don't have any reason not to trust Him, He has more than got me this far, but it always comes down to the same thing.  I need to be satisfied with where God has me, and I need to be diligent to grow where God wants me to grow.

Coincidences Don't Exist

So, I wanted to share this story with everyone because it is a good example of God in daily life...which is what this is all about!

Last night, I decided to go Israeli folk dancing at a synagogue near my house. I have gone to this particular venue before, but had not been for a while since I was not living at home until recently. It was about 11:00 pm. As I was walking across the parking lot to my car, this woman comes up randomly and asks me something in Hebrew.

Long story short, we got into a conversation immediately about the Lord (in English, I should specify). She asked me what synagogue I go to and it just took off from there. I was able to explain to her some of the reasons about why I think Yeshua is the Messiah. I told her that I believe that God is perfect, but none of us can ever be perfect. All other religions tell me that I have to do something to earn God's acceptance. Here's the problem - if God is perfect, then how can he accept imperfection without going against his own nature? So nothing I can do will get me to God. At this point, the woman seemed to actually get it. I think that despite her poor English, she really had never thought about it that way before. So I continued and explained that that is why we need a mediator - Yeshua.

Although our conversation ended there, she told me that she thought it was great that I have such a strong belief and a loving community to be a part of. And then she just walked off.

I have to say, I was not expecting to share with anyone that night, but I am so amazed that the Lord gave me that opportunity. I am also glad that I was bold in speaking to her, especially since it was obvious that she was a bit wary to be talking to a Messianic Jew. I hope and pray that the Lord used me to plant a seed in her heart that will result in her coming to know her Yeshua.

So my encouragement to you all, always be prepared to share your faith and be bold! You never know how the Lord will use you to soften someone's heart to Him!

Try this one on for size

So, at church on Sunday, Pastor Aaron gave everyone something to think over, and it blew my mind.  He even said it was going to blow our minds, and I didn't believe him.  So I thought I would share it with all of you as well.

How does God think?  This question isn't qualitative, meaning in what ways does He think, but literally; how does a God who knows everything think?  When we think, we rationalize and weigh options until we come to a conclusion, but God doesn't have to do that.  He already knows what is best, and what will accomplish His will. 

I've been thinking about this, and every time I do, my mind is blown.  Just goes to show, His ways are not like our ways.

Patience

Patience can seem:

Wonderful
Desired
Hated
Refused
Undesirable
Foolish
Loving

And a whole bunch of other things, I suppose. Many people say that, "Patience is a virtue," but who of us is really trying to be patient?

Here's what I know:
"But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved — and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus," (Ephesians ch. 2, verses 4-6)

In Corinthians, Paul refers to love as being "Patient," among other things (1 Corinthians v. 4). In fact, Paul asserts that "Love is Patient."

If you can, in your mind, replace "great love," in the passage from Ephesians with "great patience." Here, then, we have an illustration of the love and, subsequently, the patience that God shows to us.

(Extrapolated from verse)
We were dead in our trespasses, but God, being rich in mercy, made us alive together with Christ.

(As it pertains to me)
I have sinned against God. I have disobeyed His commandments. I have done everything I could to disobey, even. But God, in His mercy, has washed me clean of my inquities, and drawn me to Him.

I must look to God when I seek to learn about patience.

Truth

Well, it really didn't take long for me to fail at posting once a week.  But here is try number two.

The other week, I was reading The Trinity: Evidence and Issues, and in the opening paragraphs, the author (Robert Morey) explains his logic, and all of the starting assumptions he is making a priori.  I'm not going to go into all the details, but one statement he made about God's existence struck me as somewhat profound.  He said (and I am paraphrasing), that God is independent of our belief in Him.  Meaning, it doesn't matter if we believe in him or not, he will continue to exist.  If no one believes he exists, he will continue.  If everyone believes he exists, he will continue.  This argument was used to defeat the humanist view of men being the way to know God, and God being dependent upon man.

Well, one thing lead to another, and the more I thought about that fact, I realized that it applied to all things related to the truth.  Truth really is absolute.  Despite what the growing trend in society is, the truth does not depend on what people believe.  That then leads me to another conclusion: our beliefs have no impact on what is true.  Reading this, you might be thinking that is fairly obvious after my last statement, but each one has a subtle, different implication of responsibility on our part. 

If the truth is independent of human thought, then it is our responsibility to bend our beliefs to conform to truth, and truth should dictate our lives if we want to actually be living sincerely.  Since our belief in something doesn't change truth, we should not trust primarily in something because we believe it, but because we know it to be true.  Many people, including ourselves, have trusted in different beliefs because those beliefs are all they know.  And what a tragedy when we place our trust in our beliefs (read: ourselves), rather than what is right. 

Hopefully, the next question you would ask, is the same thing that Pilate asked, "What is truth?"  Little did he know the answer was standing right in front of him.  The truth is, we are all sinners.  The truth is, God has to be, and is holy.  The truth is the gospel.  Sure, everyone may not believe it to be true, but that really doesn't change the validity of it.  I have seen my life changed/change because of it, and I have seen other people changed by it.  It will speak for itself, if we are willing to listen.

So if perchance you read this, and you think I am just some crazy religious nut, my challenge to you is this: what is truth to you?  Is truth what you define it to be, or is truth what truth has defined itself to be?

My Awesome God

Before I left Philadelphia after graduation, I had peace about my future and life post-graduation. God had worked out all the details for me to come back to Drexel and continue my studies. Every aspect was planned out...funding, advisors, research, a place to live. I was so thankful to the Lord for taking care of things. A couple of weeks ago, I spoke to my boss and she informed me of some changes that were occurring at work and school that would benefit me. After talking with my parents, praying about it and attending some meetings the past few days, I stand amazed at the faithfulness and sovereignty of my God. While I was content with the way I had left things in June, God has fine tuned His plans for me in the past month. He has created a better opportunity for me and rearranged the lives of others to bring it to pass. He's even put it in the hearts of unbelievers to be thinking of me and looking out for my good, which is just so awesome!

Trusting God for my future has always been a struggle for me. I'm a planner. I need to have details set in place and even a back-up plan so that there isn't a moment where I'm frozen in place and can't move forward in some way. Pursuing graduate studies is a whole new ball game for me, something I had never planned for. So it's been really cool to see God work things out and to see what He has in store. It's definitely better than what I had planned for myself. I'm just so amazed by the Lord and His goodness. My encouragement to all of you is to trust Him in every aspect of your life. I know it's hard to surrender our wills and our plans but you can rest in the security that we serve a faithful, sovereign, omnipotent God that only and always has your best interest at heart. Being content to allow our lives unfold from His hands brings much peace to our anxious and weary spirits and more importantly, much glory to His name. Like the hymnist says, "O for grace to trust Him more!"

Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen. ~ Ephesians 3:20-21

The Gauntlet Has Been Thrown

This past year or so has been one of the most taxing, and intense challenges of my faith that i can ever recall.  As a result, I think I have gained a deeper understanding of who God is, how He relates to me, and what he has called me (and I believe many of us) to do.

Prior to the Jehovah's Witnesses coming to my apartment, I very rarely ever found myself researching what other people believed.  Up until this point, I have been able to rely solely upon whatever I have been taught in church, or been able to reason from my own reading of the Word.  I soon found out, however, that this was not enough to get me through a conversation with well-trained agents of a non-gospel.  The first time I spoke with them was with my roommate Tad, when they came to our apartment.  I firmly believe that God supplied Tad and me with the necessary tools in scripture to defend our beliefs that day, for I have never been able to recollect scripture as well as I did that day.  It was because of that, I felt as though I could handle whatever they threw at me, and was more than ready for them to come back again.  Oops.

The next time they came (almost a year later), I was by myself in the apartment, and long story short, they gave me a whoopin'.  They came more than prepared this time, and I was not.  I was left in a frustrated and confused stupor, wondering what had happened.  It took me some time to realize that, although God is more than capable of providing the knowledge and wisdom for sharing the Gospel with anyone, that does not mean that we are to be slack in our personal studies and our diligence in searching the scriptures for truth.

I have also been challenged in my knowledge of the scriptures.  I don't know about you, but I find it terribly upsetting that people who are going around preaching a false gospel can quote scripture (albeit out of context) better than I can.  It is to my shame that this is true.  Knowing what the truth is, and understanding the gospel is a wonderful thing, but I have found it loses a great deal of impact when it is put in my own words, instead of the words of God.  I need to be able to support my beliefs with scripture, not only logic and understanding.  This is especially true when speaking with those who claim to be of God, but are in reality against Him.  We know that Jesus is God, but how many of us can provide more than a handful of verses that prove it?  Or how about verses in support of a Trinity? 

It is because of this that I have come to the conclusion that we need to be prepared to defend our beliefs at all times, just as it says in 1 Peter 3:15.  Now I'm not saying we need to constantly be researching different beliefs and how to defend against them, but we should be examining our own beliefs and doctrines, and weighing them against the whole of scripture.  We take many of our beliefs for granted, assuming them to be right because it is taught at a pulpit.  Hopefully, if we are at gospel preaching churches, we are able to trust our pastors, but they are still only men, and if we aren't cautious, we can fall into the same snare many cults fall into: abiding by man's word, in place of God's. 

It is now my challenge, and i would argue everyone's as well, to memorize scripture, and prepare to defend my faith against any power of the earth, to "preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching." (2 Timothy 4:2)

What could be the beginning of something cool

Or just another 3500 Minutae. 

You may be thinking, "Geez Sam, you barely pay attention to your other Blog, and you are starting on this one?"  Well, you can just poo-poo elsewhere, because that is simply not the case here.  For one, this wan't my idea, so there.  Two, the goal of this blog is to have multiple posters (ors?), and have the blog be more of a "what's on your mind" kind of blog than a "here's an idea, what do you think about it?" blog.  So hopefully this blog will recieve more tender love and care than my own, and be watered multiple times a week, rather than the cactus like sprinkle of Sam's Theology Blog. 

What will we be posting about?  The goal is to simply share what God is doing in our lives, whether that is what we learned in devotions, something God has done recently (or not recently) in our lives, or just what he has placed on our minds.  Pretty much whatever we want to post about. 

With that, i shall hopefully be posting something every Thursday, and leaving the responsibility of the rest of the week, to my colleagues.  If you would like to become a poster, just shoot me an email.